The real reason why you're scared of your idea
When we focus too much on the outcome, it makes it impossible to chase our dreams.
What if I try and fail?
Do I have enough time to take this on?
How do I know if my idea is good enough?
It doesn’t look like what others are doing - does that make me weird?
You think these are the reasons why your ideas scare you. But they aren’t.
What you’re scared of is failure. Because:
You’re externalising hope.
You’re sustaining yourself on the comfort of your idea’s dream and are afraid to lose it. It is a source of hope you need to navigate other things. If you don’t court the failure, you don’t lose the dream.
You’re externalising approval.
You’re worried what others might say about you if you fail. Because let’s face it, people have opinions about everything. And they bloody love to share them, even if they aren’t based in truth. Social death feels excruciating.
You’re outsourcing safety to an anxious brain.
The feelings you encounter when you work on your idea make you flee, freeze, or flop away from activity. Your brain is in over-protection mode, trying to save you from hurtful things. The idea without action still gives you something to cling to. Until it doesn’t and becomes uncomfortable, causing your comfort zone to shrink.
You’re engaged in all-or-nothing thinking.
Instead of viewing an idea as a natural curiosity worthy of exploration and an experience of learning by doing, you’re giving it the ridiculous pressure of transforming your working life, financial situation, and heck, even your identity. That level of pressure on an idea’s outcome is demoralising.
Image: The real reason why you're scared of your idea
The good news is:
Failure isn’t a permanent state.
Nor is it as catastrophic or pervasive as we imagine it to be. Failure might hurt. But it hurts less than not trying, settling, and having decisions made for you by time and other people. The good news is, the more you fail, the better you get at maintaining perspective and coping with it.
Failure is an amazing teacher.
You learn more from launching a failed idea than holding onto the theory of an unrealised one. And this gives you the opportunity to treat all ideas as experiments and live action tests on the road to the next one. The more you view failure as an education process, the less failure seems like a waste of time, resources, or money.
Failure buzzards don’t produce things.
People hanging around waiting for others to fail might look like they are kicking you, but they are really kicking an own goal inside their head. They are just doing it out loud with you as a prop for a tiny percentage of their self-limiting beliefs. And even if they are successful and still kicking dust, that level of mindset baggage is its own prison that must really hurt to experience. You don’t need to listen or add to it. You can bypass it entirely.
Failure doesn’t have to be the focus.
You can get high off creating and producing, discovering and exploring. Learning to enjoy the process without putting too much emphasis on the future and outcomes helps resolve these anxious feelings. And the progress you build creates confidence as a byproduct. Win, win!
Failure’s sting has an antidote.
Giving yourself self-compassion can defeat most self-doubt. And practicing being a better boss, an understanding artist to yourself, and nurturing your progress can unlock more than a project’s value. It can make you a stronger self-advocate.
Oh, and certain people admire failure because it is proof you’ll:
Swing for the fences
Back yourself
Take calculated risks
Value innovation
Build something from nothing
Experiment
Open yourself up
Remain optimistic
Try your own luck
Create opportunities
That’s really powerful because it means you’re dealing with someone who:
Doesn’t need to be spoon fed a way out of trouble
Can critically think about situations
Source solutions to problems and pivot
Can function and thrive without needing too much oversight
Will cope with stressful situations
Doesn’t confuse their feelings for their potential
Ready to make something of your idea? Get in touch with me now.