Save the (freelance) days!
How we transform days from gentle, nurturing opportunities to relentless punishing beasts with our own ambition.
Days are funny creatures bestowed amazing powers that, on reflection, they rarely share with us mere humans.
A brand-new day, one day at a time, it’s never too late to start the day over, dawn of a new day, today’s the day – apparently, we go to bed at night and walk through some giant portal to a land of possibility. One where twenty-four hours can make a huge difference, if only we choose to plant the right flag.
But the days we speak about for their amazing resetting potentials are covered in barnacles. They carry with them debt, shame and yesterday’s mistakes. They are encrusted with the problems we face like poverty, and a lack of diversity and inclusion. They are rusted with our own mental inflexibility and come pre-programmed with automatic thinking and society’s desired settings. They are filled with trials and torments, frustrations and failures.
These days are less able to carry us from one night to the next.
Weakened by the stress of modern living, pandemics and politics, our days have trouble drinking deeply from the optimism juice. They are trapped between what we experience as actual real people and what the world tells us they should be like. The inspiration, aspiration and perspiration bigrade goad us onto the mental treadmill. The politicians who tell us what we know or who we are or what we need seem so utterly untethered from how we actually live.
And it feels as though every day is another spring-loaded trap.
A gotcha moment here, a gotcha moment there. Chest thump, fist pump, smacked rump- yeah! Beating sounds and beating down as we beat around the bush to never admit we’re scared.
But is it a day’s fault?
We put too much pressure on a day. We ask it to make or break our destiny like some singular deity. Yet, a day wants to connect to another to another to a week, a fortnight, a month, a quarter, a year.
Like Lego blocks, our days connect and build to something. From tiny seconds to long hours, our days hold the pieces of themselves with such compassion and care. And yet, it is an ordinary love, a love that allows us to make a place and a space for us to try to do things.
A day offers us a moment to wipe the slate clean. It’s a simple invitation. If that doesn’t work, try to do something else.
Our days ask us to believe not in the end but in momentum. To move, like one revolution of a cyclist’s wheel or the thump, trudge, thump of a foot in sand that makes the morning walk complete. They want us to pick small things, make reasonable commitments, and get things done.
Why is it then that we’re always looking so many leagues ahead?
Be kind to days
Dear reader, I believe that if there were an RSPCA for Days, freelancers would probably be in some serious trouble. We ask a lot of our days. We are essentially loading up our days with client work, ambition, our own marketing and more. And then wondering why they collapse under the weight of the things we ask them to carry.
And yes, I include myself in this royal we moment. I recently outed myself at the Deadline Party for demanding days give me the power to wrangle 10,000 words on client management without a whimper of connection to actual reality.
Why are we failing to make the most of our days, lately? I believe it comes down to a few things:
· We focus too much on the end product and not the joy of creating. Our impatience to have something to show diminishes the connection with process
· We ask it to be profound – which is a huge ask of simple productivity. Connecting with work doesn’t mean it has to be world-changingly inspiring. It’s OK to value small things
· We rubbish the simple joy of getting shit done. There’s something to be said for tweezing the errant hairs of life over always attempting (and failing) to look salon ready
· We fail to mix it up. There is something to be said for learning, spending time away from work, exercising, navel gazing, experiencing nature and being free
· We set ourselves up to fail. Of course, you won’t get a sense of accomplishment if you’ve stuffed your day harder than a decent Indian vegan pastie
· We equate being adult and responsible with obligation. Unless of course we’re getting pissed (that’s drinking for the non-Australians)
· We forget to protect our days from invasion. Our days are our most valuable asset. Yet we allow them to be stolen from underneath us by distractions and fears, client panic and self-doubt.
How do we protect our days?
Our days are valuable, meaningful and comforting. They should be places where we nurture joy, encourage creativity and invite exploration. There should be a childlike enthusiasm for greeting the day. Because believe you me, once you begin to dread their darkest moments or sharp, anxious edges, it becomes difficult to restore them.
Sit down with yourself and ask the following questions:
· Is my TO DO list and timetable realistic? Or am I setting myself up to fail?
· Am I allowing myself 20 minutes away from the obligations of others to focus on myself?
· If no, is that because of a genuine need? Or because of over-compensation and overcommitment?
· If I could kick ONE goal well today, what would it be and why?
· Am I forgiving myself for the days when things didn’t go to plan? Or am I paying that negativity and self-doubt forward to the next one?
Take note of everything that frustrates you today- and then reflect:
· Who called the shots today? Why?
· What were my most frustrating moments?
· How can reduce the impact and/or volume of frustrations tomorrow?
· Take this blog on freelance frustrations on for some bedtime (Patreon) reading
And remember – we all need to feel connected to our days. They are the leaves that make the tree of our lives, after all.
Grab a day-te with me
Improv to improve your client management hits the “problem client” session this final week – come learn! (Patreon only- details on Patreon)
I dissect the anatomy of a good newsletter before your very eyes on May 26th (Patreon only).
Rescheduled (bloody Covid!)-- Paul Gordon is dropping by to talk about making great freelance contracts on June 14th (FREE).
Learn how to avoid late payments on Crowdcast as a Death by PowerPoint session on June 16th (FREE).
Sharpen those LinkedIn pencils with Karen Hollenbach on June 23rd https://www.crowdcast.io/e/linkedin_tips
I talk to Emma McMillan for her podcast, Not just about copy. You can listen to the episode here.
And the Dollhouse Theatre is back in production with a love story that’s bound to be unlike any other love story you’ve experienced. You can start the journey on Instagram.
Love and other things that keep us motivated,
Rebekah