Reflecting on communication
Here's how to deal with the post event "what did I say?!" cringe in a useful and compassionate way.
I used to go to events, have a good time, and come home to a sleepless night as I dissected everything I said and did while out. If I flubbed or something actually warranted inspection, it went for days.
That’s not a fun way to spend a post event evening.
Do you hear your head humming after an event with everything you should have said? This series of questions will help you calm your head right down.
Pick a spot in your journal and reflect on the event.
What was the event like overall?
What went well when I spoke to people?
What didn’t go so well when speaking to people?
What were my underlying assumptions about that person, the event, myself in relation to that person?
How did these assumptions get in the way of communicating well?
What was I feeling at the time?
How might those feelings have influenced my perception of how well I communicated and what others thought of me?
How might those feelings have influenced how I communicated?
Are these perceptions accurate based on how others behaved towards me, around me, and in conversation with me?
What did I find challenging? What can I work on for next time?
What did I do well? What elements of the conversation should I praise myself for?
What mistakes, flubs, or disconnects can I forgive myself for?
Communication is a skill. And like any skill, it needs development. Compassionately reflecting on how you communicated at an event or an important meeting can help you discover what needs work, what’s natural communication, and what you’re doing well.
Image: Here's how to deal with the post event "what did I say?!" cringe in a useful and compassionate way.